Dear Progesterone:

This morning I had my coffee (thank you DR for that exquisite new drink) from my fav Seattle based coffee chain. Not feeling like having breakfast just yet I left it for a little while and took my vitamins. I'm a glutton for punishment because I insist on taking the prenatal in the morning even though it makes me queasy. Why you may ask? To prove to myself that I'm feeling something different- cause still undetermined (progesterone or pregnancy- the verdict is several days away still). So after awhile I decide I should eat some breaky. I grab a packet of oatmeal and mix it up (gotta love having a kitchen at work) and throw in some dried fruit. I eat my small bowl and enjoy it quite thoroughly. Ten minutes later as I wash out the bowl in the kitchen, I want to run to the ladies washroom and hurl. Lovely image I know, and you're very welcome. Except that I don't. I'm okay enough that I know I won't actually be sick, but damn, the feeling is there. It was like this with both of my pregnancies... My dearest progesterone, please give me a break. Let this not be a little mind game you're playing on me! Please don't mess with my known pregnancy symptoms. It's rather cruel you see to trick a woman who has lost two babies into believing that maybe, just maybe, she might be pregnant again. This is the one who just had that vivid dream the other day of nursing her child (remember me?). I want this too much and my fragile heart can't handle being tricked. Crap, now I'm almost in tears as I type this. It's still mid-morning. This is going to be a long day. Water, where my water. It helps the nausea you see...