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Monday, January 12, 2009

Bluffs and Lost Hands

I've been tricked. I made the mistake of being confident and my bluff was called. I laid all my cards on the table and discovered they weren't the ones I thought I had held. Suffice to say, progesterone and I need to have a little heart to heart.

I'm CD2, af is here with a vengence along with all the symptoms I normally don't get, namely cramps and nausea. Still testing negative. LP was only 10 days. Temp dropped a little today but not enough to be consistent with what it normally does. I'll wait and see what happenes but I'm not holding on to any hope. If temps stay up, I'll test with a good test on Wednesday.

I want to cry and wash away the tears with a good glass of wine. I have a bottle of shiraz I opened last night to use in the beef stew I made. I'd let my tears swirl amonst the red and brace myself to try again. Our 'pregnant on the first try' luck has run out. This next pregnancy will likely take a little more time. Perhaps that is a good thing. Maybe it'll make all the difference in the final outcome. One can only hope. At least in the greater scheme of things, I still do have hope, it just ran out temporarily.

4 comments:

areyoukiddingme said...

I wish I had something to write that would help...

Kim said...

We both know there really isn't anything I can say to make you feel better but I am sorry. I am willing, however, to track down hope and give it a beat down for you.

The Steadfast Warrior said...

Kim- omg lol! That was a much needed laugh on what has been a pretty terrible day. Thanks. :)

Another Dreamer said...

I'm sorry too. And I'm up to giving Kim a hand if you want.