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Thursday, November 06, 2008

Holding on to the pieces...

Today was a better day.

I woke up again in time to have a workout. That makes three workouts in four days. Not to mention my lunchtime power walks. I'm moving again. Stiffy, but I'm moving.

These last few weeks have been some on the most difficult. Even the immediate aftermath of the miscarriage wasn't like this. Then, I was in the place I expected to be. Hurting and angry and feeling hopeless. Now it's shifted to a place I hoped I'd never be again: flare. The place where negativity swirls around and threatens to consume me. It's grip is strong.

But what I learned last year is that I am stronger. I am so much stronger than that. And that realization keeps me going. Moving forward to where I want and need to be.

Forward to today, where things seemed more hopeful. The sun was shining so brightly for most of the day. Snow has fallen on the tops of the North Shore Mountains. The air was crisp and fresh. Everything seemed vibrant.

I still hurt. My body hurts and aches and my heart is still sad but it's gettting there- one tiny step at a time.

Tomorrow is the day of new beginnings, or at least that's what I keep telling myself, and hoping for. Always hoping...

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