|Last night in bed I was thinking about how wierd it is to refer to our two lost babies as Baby#1/#2 or 1st Miscarriage/ 2nd Miscarriage. I don't know about you but it seems rather cold and impersonal for two lives that however brief touched me. The second of course, even more so, because we know it was a boy. I know names are usually given to babies who are still born rather than miscarried, but it seems somehow natural and appropriate for us to do this at this point.|
So I was lying there curled up with R and mentioned this to him and said that I need to find a name or some way of referring to them in a way that is consistent with the impact they've had on my life. He then looks at me and says "Kenneth". I paused, slightly stunned, as I was 1) a little surprised he was going along with this and 2) that it came to him so quickly and easily. But there we have it.
Kenneth. The perfect name for the little boy we'd never hold.
So then there's our first. We have no idea if it was a boy or girl, so he suggested Alex, a gender neutral shortened name. Works for me. So if I use these names in any future posts, you will know who I'm talking about.
Alex and Kenneth, our babies, who will always be with us and who's brief lives will guide us forward through the unknown.