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Thursday, December 04, 2008

The Great Debate

We could throw all the caution in the world to the wind, say screw it, and decide to try again. Soon. As in now.

My darling husband is the one who started it. Yes, I'm blaming him for putting the idea into my head into the first place. After all, we've been resigning ourselves to The Wait. We've gotten comfy with it. We invited it in and ever so impatiently told it to have a seat. Offered it tea even. All a bribe for sure. Maybe after a great cup of tea, it'll give us the benefit of the doubt. Maybe even give us a break.

Two weeks away from our OB appointment and here we are considering walking into that office possibly being pregnant. Could we really? No, that isn't the question we need to ask ourselves. Afterall, we're two for two on the instantly pregnant front. The questions we should, no need to ask, is SHOULD we?

Aye, there's the rub! Our miscarriages weren't small things. They were the end of our two babies' lives. I can't and won't make light of that fact or brush it aside. It would be wrong. But...

But we could try. With my short LP, there's a pretty good chance we wouldn't even get pregnant. Or we could and we could miscarry again. What about the possible genetic issue (if in fact there is one)?

But we could win the numbers game i the biggest way imaginable. We could really win it this time. Lucky 3. It could be. You never know...

The other thing that complicates this is that I thought that this was the last cycle we could possibly try without making it difficult to be a part of AL's wedding on Oct.31 next year. However, someone reminded me that we still try the next cycle and still be okay on the timing front. Hmmm...

So where does that leave us? Do we try and risk heartbreak again? Or do we wait another couple of weeks, have our appointment, and go ahead (whenever that might be) with our Dr's blessing and support?

I think that maybe I have my answer.


Erika said...

Hi Lindsay, I found your blog thru Mel's Stirrup Queen's. Your post describes something I've been struggling with myself recently. I've had 9 pregnancy losses over 3+ years and I've had no difficulty getting pregnant so it's very tempting to just try on our own.

However, I really think it's worth waiting to see your specialist to discuss your case, treatments, causes, and possible tests. My new Dr. really emphasized the need for doing a full investigation, getting the results then having a plan in place going forward. For us, none of the the tests found any problems, but had we gone ahead on our own and had the same result, you are back at the starting point but further down the line and without the benefit of additional information. All the waiting is excruciating but I think the wait is worth it.

Lindsay said...

Erika- I am SO sorry for your losses. It's a strange place to be in, isn't it? I appreciate the advice and we more or less came to the same conclusion. Not too long to wait now.