Tuesday, February 02, 2010
A Year Ago...
... I found out I was pregnant with this crazy kid. My pregnancy wasn't what I dreamed of, simply because history got in the way, as did fear. But she moved early (I felt her clearly at 15 weeks) and showed up just in time.
I had no real expectations of what Motherhood would be like. Even if I did, it wouldn't have come close to my reality.
I love her more than I ever knew was possible. Today she made a funny little gesture that made me laugh wholeheartedly and in turn she started giggling. I keep telling myself that these moments are what make it worthwhile, but the truth is, that these moments keep me focused on what I want more than anything: to ENJOY her. Not just moments, but the whole crazy journey.
Today has been a mix of up, down and sideways. I managed to step out for a quick jaunt up to the store for a couple items. I'm seeing my friend K tomorrow, which I'm really looking forward to. She asked if I wanted her to go over to my place. I said I may go there but that we'd leave it till to tomorrow to decide since a lot depended on whether or not I got out today. As I joked, if I didn't, I would need to stop myself from developing a nervous twitch.
Twitch avoided- temporarily. Now only if I can shake the cloud that's been hovering...