It was like being thrown against a wall. A very hard wall.
Got a phone call last night. R was out. I answered as it wasn't a strange 800 or 888 number. I should have left it.
Some lady called me from Heritage RESPs to talk to me about governement grants and bonds for my baby's education. Huh. Which baby is she talking about. I of course understood that she was talking about Kenneth. My breath caught in my throat.
She asked me if I have had my baby yet.
I told her no. She asked me when I'm due. I say mid-October. Confused silence ensues...
"But I have April 5th down".
"Well that's wrong since we had a loss".
"Oh. I'm so sorry."
I proceed to tell her that we're newly pregnant and not even close to being ready to deal with something like this. She was very sweet and said she understood and that she'd call closer to October.
I just hope by then there's still a baby to plan an edcuation for.
Kenneth's due date was supposed to be March 27th. It's coming up so fast. If she hadn't called, it would have snuck up on me. I guess I'm prepared for it now.
After she hung up, I cried. Not a lot, but the overwhelming sadness caught me so hard I could barely breathe. It passed after a minute and then I was fine.
I realized that being pregnant again doesn't change anything. They're still gone. These dates will always be there.