Welcome

This blog is no longer being updated, but if you like what you see here, be sure to join me over at Life Pared Down!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Progress: Redux

Yesterday was another interesting day.

For starters, I had one of my crazy blurred vision, near blackout moments. I had this a couple of times before being diagnosed with fibro. It scared the shit out of me then and yesterday was worse because Bean was awake and eating. I kept worrying about passing out with Bean there with me. I desperately wanted her to go to sleep so I didn't have to worry about her. I ate breakfast right away so that blood sugar wouldn't play a part in it (it's not what causes these moments, so no comments about my not eating right away in the morning).

Then my Mom called. Moms have great timing sometimes, don't they?

We talked and she suggested putting Bean in her little chair beside the couch so I could lie down and rest and see if that helped. So I did and yes, I started feeling a little better.

But the event left me drained, so I decided I should keep thing low-key. I had made a list earlier of all that I had to do and was a little sad that I wouldn't get any of it done. But, I really started feeling a lot better by Noon and by the afternoon I had a surge of energy, which I took advantage of.

So I did it- finally: I called  the Post-Partum Society.

The nurse who gave me the pamphlet warned me that I may have to leave a messsage. I'm glad she warned me because if I had just gotten the voicemail for the support line, I might have just hung up right there and then. But I didn't and I did leave a message.

Around dinner time, just before R got home, they called me back. A lovely woman, whose name never did register in my brain, walked me through the intake and listened to my story and where I was at. She was wonderful. All of the support line volunteers are Moms who have been through Post-Partum Depression/ Anxiety. They've been there and they know how hard it is. She said she would mail out some info for myself and R and follow-up with me next week to see if 1) I got it and 2) I had any questions and where to go next.

I have no illusion that they can magically fix my issues- that's not what they are they for. But they have a support line I can call and in-person support groups. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but in the meantime, while I wait for my appointment with the hospital to come around, at least I know I have options and resources available to me.

It's funny, I'm still in limbo and I'm still not in the best place, but I think I'd rather go with things not moving at all, because perhaps that might mean that things won't get worse. Crazy? Maybe. In any case, I have options and when your world seems to be collapsing around you, options are like a few good pillars that are going to hold the ceiling up.

14 comments:

MDZ said...

Hi there. Thanks for dropping by my blog! And congratulations on your daughter! I'm sorry that you're struggling with PPD. I don't have any personal experience with that, but I know how difficult any depression is. I'm glad that you've sought out help and support.

AnnaMarie said...

No, they can't magically fix your PPD but seeking help is the start. I'm really glad you called.

Much love to you

Andrea said...

I'm so glad you called and got the ball rolling. There must be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.

Kristin said...

I'm so glad you found the Post-partum Group and hope they can be that support pillar you need. {{{Hugs}}}

JamieD said...

I'm glad to hear you called the PPD resource center. And glad they called you back! I know when I have problems, sometimes I am not looking for answers as much as just a sympathetic ear. I hope having those pillars available to you make all the difference in the world.

HUGS to you!

Baby On Mind said...

I'm glad you are getting the support you need. Hang in there.

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Any step forward is a step in the right direction! I'm so glad that you called the PPD support group. I hope they are able to provide at least some of the help you need until you can get into the clinic.

Mom's do have the best timing... :)

areyoukiddingme said...

A support group sounds like a good interim step to keep you going until your appointment.

Bean is at a good stage now, where you can probably put her somewhere with a toy or a mobile and keep her busy and interested without having to do much work. It's a great time to do little things for yourself - take a power nap, read a book, take some photos. You'd be surprised what 15 or 20 minutes can do.

Saige said...

I am so glad you made the call. Things won't change over night, but you will notice them changing over the weeks and months.

Lily said...

I have gotten really bad during post partum, glad to see that you took the first step!!!

ICLW hugs!

Quiet Dreams said...

So glad you feel like you have options. I have heard before that depression comes when we feel stuck in a miserable situation--that it is the "stuck" part not the "miserable" part that leads to depression. I know your situation is a bit different, but at any rate, I'm so glad that you have a few pillars there holding things up.

The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

Hey! Found your blog through Spicy Sister's. I struggled through ppd (among other things) and just wanted to stop by to offer some support. It was one of the hardest things I've been through, but I experienced a total and complete recovery and am happier now than I've ever been in my life and am actually LOVING being a mom (something I feared could never happen!). Meds, therapy, a support group, and trauma therapy (ptsd complicated my ppd) have all played a role in my recovery. I'm so glad you're reaching out for help. It will get better! Blessings and prayers for healing to you...

IF Optimist, then... said...

Sorry you had a bad spell today, but am so glad your mom was there to support you in a tiny way. Glad you called the PPD group. Little steps make a steady warrior, right?

Another Dreamer said...

Very glad you went to the group (*hugs*)