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Friday, January 15, 2010

Happy Birthdays Are in Order

I wanted this to have it's own post. Today would have been my older brother's 30th birthday. It's a milestone, that while observed quietly, is on the minds of my family today. If you're not familiar with the story, you can read it here.

This year is going to be a different year for me I think. The loss anniversaries that haunted me last year aren't the first thing on my mind. Don't get me wrong, miscarriage has tainted so many things for me. But, holding Bean reminds me that right now I need to live in the present and enjoy what I have, today. If I don't I will forever miss all the wonderful firsts that are a constant part of parenting an infant. As it is, the depression has left me in a weird place and I haven't chronicled these wonderful moments the way I wanted to. But maybe that is just a part of the reality that is parenthood.

As I think of my brother and Bean, I feel a full circle of sorts has come to play. I once asked him if he knew the spirits of my two lost babies. Today I know his spirit is here to greet Bean on this, the day that marks three months. My baby is three months old! Um, how did that happen?

7 comments:

Dave said...

Quickly my dear, that's how it happened.

IF Optimist, then... said...

I raised my glass in tribute to your brave brother. I'm sure he is there with you and Bean.

areyoukiddingme said...

I'm sure your brother is watching over you and is also amazed at how quickly things change.

Kristin said...

Happy Birthday to your brother and happy 3 months to your little one.

Quiet Dreams said...

3 months old! I can't even believe it...

Happy Birthday to your brother. Peaceful thoughts are with you today.

JamieD said...

Sending birthday wishes to your brother. I know he is looking down and smiling on you.

Three months!! Time is flying.

MrsSpock said...

I felt that the time has flown for us as well. Next thing you know, Bean will be two.

Remembering your brother with you!