Welcome

This blog is no longer being updated, but if you like what you see here, be sure to join me over at Life Pared Down!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Lessons - Part 1

She's two weeks old already and in my sleep deprived haze I can't recall where those days went. Not suprising really but then again, I never imagined just how tired I was going to find myself. Here and there I have a moment to reflect on all the things I've learned about pregnancy, labour and birth and am learning about Motherhood. Here's a few:

Lessons learned:

-birth, even if it goes according to your plan (which mine didn't of course), it is nothing like you expect

-I never knew how much I was going to miss feeling her move inside of me but I also never knew how much I was going to love holding her in my arms and gazing at her beautiful face.

-The two most amazing moments during the birth were touching her head between pushing and realizing that I was in fact pushing her out and the moment they first laid her on my chest- pure magic.

-Her first cries made me cry. I didn't think I would be a crier. But I was.

-The first thought I had when she came out was, "What a real baby?!?"

When I was still pregnant, I would have made a comment about how pregnancy loss affects every moment of your life. Now, I say that it informs these moments- not taking over, just adding a level of reflection that might not have been there before. I am not just a lost-baby mama anymore, I'm a Mom to a real in-the-flesh creature. As I felt her move inside me, even at the end, I still had moments where I couldn't quite believe it was going to happen. But it did. It's still surreal but the emotions that run through me are very real and strong and poignant.

A beautiful end to a sad story and a happy beginning of another. More later when I get a little more sleep...

7 comments:

JamieD said...

Beautiful and amazing and breath taking.

Congratulations, Mom . . .

Kristin said...

What a beautiful post. I sobbed when my post-IF baby was born. I think that is common.

areyoukiddingme said...

Beautiful post! I'm glad you got a chance to learn these lessons.

Another Dreamer said...

Beautiful post hun, congrats again. Very wonderful.

Quiet Dreams said...

Beautiful post. I can't imagine what an amazing and overwhelming time you must be having right now. Thank you for writing some of it down.

WiseGuy said...

Wonderful realizations...and what a journey!

IF Optimist, then... said...

Thank you for sharing those poignant and heartfelt lessons. Wishing you lots of rest and good health for your new family.