A Bean Update

We went for our growth scan today.

It was wonderful. No fear all day. I was completely calm. I drank just enough water to fill my bladder but not so much that I couldn't sit. Doesn't mean it was comfortable but after all the ultrasounds I've had, I have this whole shtick figured out. It took quite a long time to get the measurements. She wasn't cooperative at times and at one point the tech had me roll partially on my size and stay there, which was difficult and not very confortable. Apparently, the placenta was hard to image. Too much baby in the way- all that tight space.

The techs (a second was brought in to get a couple more measurements) of course couldn't tell us much of anything but I did overhear them say she was measuring 32w3d or 32w4d, depending on a couple measurements. That puts her a week and half ahead.

Ha! I was right. Instincts are good for something it seems! ;) When I see my OB on the 27th, I'll find out if that indicates she could come early like I've been thinking she will. Also curious to know how much they think she weighed. She's head down and facing sideways. Hoping she stays there for now. I get nauseous when she flips.

In any case, she is doing well. And we got a photo. Considering I felt jipped out of the good ones at the 20 week scan, this was nice. It's not very clear so while I did think about posting it, you really have to know what you're looking at, so I decided not too.

Eager to get the results and know more, but I'm calm knowing that our little girl is doing fine.

Less than 9 weeks to go. Even less if she does in fact go early...

Revisiting

I've been trying to get a grasp on the fear that I have about Friday. I have a growth scan to check Bean's size and her home and make sure all is it should be. Although I'm measuring 3 weeks ahead still, I'm not too worried. Enough people have shared their large baby birth stories to ease my mind, should she look to be going that route..

But it's the place where the ultrasound takes place I'm struggling with. All my ultrasounds to date have taken place in hospitals or my OB's office.

This scan is going to be at the same place where all my ultrasounds from the last pregnancy took place. All of them were awful heartbreaking experiences. The first was the one where there was no heartbeat and the measurements were two weeks behind. The second showed no change.

Maybe I'm so emotional about this because I'm coming ever closer to the date where we induced the miscarriage. Where I spent my 25th birthday in the hospital from massive hemorraging. September 4th is a hard day for me this year.

I have no rational reason to think that this scan will be anything but routine and normal. But this pregnancy has gone so smoothly. Too smoothly, the deepest parts of my mind say. I in no way want something to be wrong but I can't help the fear. I've had my heart ripped out, broken apart and pieced back together too much to not have the fear. I wish I could escape it completely, but I know until she's safely in my arms, I just can't. And then there's a whole new host of fears as a new parent. Those I know I can deal with. This is unexplicably different.

So I'm holding my breath up to and during the scan. As my insides feel like they are being rearranged, I hold ever so tightly to her, to the dream, the future.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood

Today is a gorgeous summer day. There's a cool breeze that only living by the ocean can get you and the sky is an amzing blue dusted with streaks of thin cloud.

In a little while, R and I are heading downtown to participate in the World Partnership Walk. My company is a sponsor so we have a good large team walking. It's 5 kms but at least I don't have to walk the entire thing if I'm not up for it. We'll see how it goes.

I will do a Show and Tell post later today depending on when I get back from a friend's b-day bbq.

But first a quick update. I wanted to tell you this on Friday but I never had a chance! We had our big ultrasound on Friday. The anatomy scan. It was amazing. We got to see Bean on a big TV and the tech talked while she took her measurments. I had to go pee so badly I could barely drink 1/2 a glass. I had to pee twice before my appt, so I was worried I wouldn't be full enough and they wouldn't be able to do the u/s.

Well I shouldn't have worried. It was fine. Although the tech did point out why I had to go SO badly... Bean's head was directly on my bladder. Yeah, thanks love. As R commented, Bean needed a pillow...lovely.

The scan went great. The tech was awesome and pointed out differnt organs and bones. Her spine was the most beatuiful thing!

Oops, did I let that slip? Yep, you heard me. While we'll wait for our 3D u/s next month for a second confirmation, we're having a girl!!!!

I cried during this u/s, not because it was a girl but becuase after all we'd been through, the tech told us all the measurements were perfect and that coupled with the bloodwork I did (that came back negative for genetic issues), we have a healthy baby.

What more could we ask for?

It was the perfect end to a long and stressful week.