... You Know You're a Sleep Deprived Mother of a Newborn:
10. You don't remember the day or the date.
9. You've worn the same pants 3 or 4 days this week because you still don't fit into anything else and are too tired to do laundry yet again.
8. The 3/4 am feed doesn't seem so odd any more.
7. You are able to fall asleep wihtin minutes of hitting the pillow (where it took you 3o minutes before).
6. The bed is never made until moments before you crawl into it and even then it's a half-hearted attempt. All you really need is covers for warmth.
5. You can change a diaper or give the baby a bottle without turning lights on. Lights would only wake you up completely.
4. A shirt is considered "clean" if the spit-up marks aren't too obvious.
3. Caffeine no longer wakes you up.
2. You've just blanked out for the thousandth time in a 24 hour period.
1. And my favourite... You go to reheat your cup of coffee in the microwave only to find cup in there from 2 or 3 days including a nice pool of old milk. Yum!
Truly though, as funny as all that is (I have a good sense of humour about it), I am loving this new journey. That being said, I am now actually enjoying my little girl. I decided on Friday to finally give up breastfeeding and just do formula. I would love to say that it was a difficult decision, but it wasn't. Bittersweet maybe but definitely not difficult. There have been too many tears, too much pain and too much guilt. Well enough was enough. I had come too close to the edge of post-partum depression. Much longer and I could have easily fallen into a pit. How horrible would that have been? But how simple the solution.
We're all much happier now. And I actually enjoy feeding her. There's just as much bonding- more so since there's no stress anymore. I can gaze into her eyes when she's working on her bottle. We connect. And that my friends is the priceless moment I've been waiting for.
So as we approach the end of our first month, we've figured out a few things and are still learning other things. But this I do know, no matter what, it is so worth it. More than I ever knew.
Now only if my milk will dry up and go away. The leaking is more than a little annoying...
10 comments:
I'm so glad that you are able to look on this time of adjustment with humour and practicality. (Good for you for making the decision you needed to!)
I sent a little package your way a week or so ago. Just want to make sure it arrived.
Wow! I can only imagine how hectic it must be.
How long is your maternity leave?
Enjoy the ever-strengthening bond.
My laundry consisted of the same four pairs of pajamas being washed over and over. I finally asked Hubby if it bothered him that I never got dressed. Fortunately the answer was no. :-)
Feeding is my favorite time and much, much more enjoyable when it is stress free. Don't you just love all the faces they can make?
Taking away as much stress as possible is vital. I'm glad the three of you are enjoying each other a little more.
I find #10 to be true any time I have an extended leave from work!
I am so glad you are enjoying your time with her. The important thing is she's getting fed...not how she is getting fed.
I am so glad you are enjoying this time with your little one. I can only imagine how crazy it can sometimes feel.
Also happy to hear you are not beating yourself up over the breastfeeding. All matters is that she has two parents who love her and provide her care. You sound like you are doing a fantastic job!
So glad that you are enjoying your daughter more. Guilt is never worth it.
Re: drying the milk up...sounds weird, but cabbage leaves. Stick a big cabbage leaf in each bra cup. Supposed to work wonders. Since you're not trying to breastfeed anymore, you don't have to worry about leaving it in too long, as moms who are breastfeeding but dealing with engorgement do.
I know some weird things.
Sorry you had to switch from breast feeding to formula, but glad it has made things so much easier on you all.
Glad you are enjoying your time with your girl.
I used a cool cabbage leaf to dry up my milk, and it worked like a charm! I found stopping nursing to take me away from that depression edge myself- and quite frankly, I didn't enjoy my son or bond with him much til I gave it up. Having fibro makes sleepless nights of nursing difficult to manage.
A sports bra totally works! Try it out!
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